so that wasnt chicken after all
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
