how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Are these your boobs on my camera?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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