I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
