Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
