Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
