Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
