did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Randomize
