Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
