Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize