life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
