You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize