conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
