By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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