Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
