covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
