it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
