you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
