someone owes me an orgasm
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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