i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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