just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
