Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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