oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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