I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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