He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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