It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Tell her she can't have a vagina
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
