Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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