Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
