playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
two words: eviction party
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
