I just saw a hot homeless man
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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