I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
