Swine flu is the new snow day.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
