So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Couch. On fire.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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