I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
