On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
