No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
