Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
