I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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