So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
