I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
