WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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