That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
