Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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