id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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