My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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