He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
