Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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