I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
