I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
