So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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