WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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