Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize