just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
