I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
