dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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