For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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