My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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