I wanna bring you to show and tell
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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