There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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